


I Couldn't Be Your Friend

by Maluminspace, marriedmalum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer, 5SOS
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, teenie malum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 01:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10675272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maluminspace/pseuds/Maluminspace, https://archiveofourown.org/users/marriedmalum/pseuds/marriedmalum
Summary: 'What would real Calum think if Michael told him about these thoughts and dreams? Would he still want to be friends with someone who occasionally imagines him naked? Would he be comfortable around a friend who was constantly having to remind himself that he 100% does not have a crush on Calum, that all teenagers have stupid dreams about kissing their friends...'It's hard being a sixteen year old is hard, especially when you develope crushes on people you're probably not supposed to...





	I Couldn't Be Your Friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marriedmalum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marriedmalum/gifts).



> Okay so I haven't specified any ages in this yet... So just so you all know, Calum, Michael and Luke are all 16 and Ashton is just 18. 
> 
> I'm sorry for any mistakes in this, I'm not a good proof reader!
> 
> Titles taken from the song 'I couldn't be your friend' by Tegan and Sara.

"Is it my turn yet?" Calum whines, tearing his eyes away from his phone to glare expectantly at Michael across the room.

The slightly older boy sighs as his character dies on screen. He's been trying and failing to beat this 'boss' for at least a half hour and it had started to piss him off. He gently tosses the control pad over to the dark haired boy laid out on his tummy across the bed.

Calum smiles appreciatively as he adjusts his weight on his elbows in order to play the game, before focussing his attention on the tv screen.

Michael subconsciously allows his gaze to linger on his friend's skinny body. The way his bony elbows dig into the crumpled duvet and the way his legs swing back and fourth, crossing and uncrossing his ankles occasionally as he concentrates on setting up his game. The younger boy shifts a little to get more comfortable and his t-shirt rises up a little exposing a small patch of the beautiful smooth brown skin of his back. Michael subconsciously licks his lips as it reminds of a dream he's had recently...

He'd had a lot of dreams about Calum lately and all most every single one had taken a somewhat sexual turn. The elder boy sucked on his bottom lip as an unbidden stream of images/memories from his recent nightly adventures with the dream version of the boy lying on his bed burst through his mind... A slightly pissed of Calum shoving Michael roughly against the wall of this very room and kissing him until his lips hurt, a smirking Calum pulling him into an empty class room to make out, a seductive Calum grinding down on top of him as they lay on the very bed that the real Calum was sprawled out on now.

In all honesty the dreams had started to make it increasingly harder for Michael to ignore the feelings that sprang up every time he laid eyes on his best friend. He'd spend a lot of their time together imaging if the real Calum's lips were as soft as dream Calum's, or if real Calum kissed gently or roughly (dream Calum had done both) and perhaps the scariest question that has started to eat away at the eldest boy was, what would real Calum think if Michael told him about these thoughts and dreams? Would he still want to be friends with someone who occasionally imagines him naked? Would he be comfortable around a friend who was constantly having to remind himself that he 100% does not have a crush on Calum, that all teenagers have stupid dreams about kissing their friends... a sneering voice in Michael's head reminds him that even if that were true they probably don't relive those dreams when they're jerking off...

Michael shakes his head, fully aware all of a sudden that he's staring, probably a little hungrily at his best friend, who is still, thankfully, too engrossed in Michael's computer game to notice. He runs his fingers through his messy light brown hair and pushes himself out of the desk chair, making his way quietly over to his bedroom door, aiming to disrupt Calum as little as possible. He hasn't taken two steps before the younger boy pauses the game and fixes Michael with a questioning stare "where are you going?" He asks, as though he's suddenly a little scared of being alone.

"To pee..." Michael shrugs "why?"

Calum's cheeks colour a little as a relieved smile etches its way onto his beautiful face... _fuck_ Michael has to stop thinking shit like this! "It doesn't matter..." the younger boy replies, turning back to the tv "I just thought you might be getting hungry, I'll go and check what's for dinner when I've finished this..."

Michael nods even though Calum isn't looking anymore before sloping out of the room. It's a little chilly on the landing and Michael rubs his bare arms briefly as he makes his way to the bathroom. He can hear Calum's parents talking and laughing downstairs as he crosses the soft carpet and eases open the bathroom door. He closes and locks it before heading straight for the sink. He doesn't really need to pee, he just needed to get Calum out of his sight so that he could ground himself again. The pale boy staring back at Michael from the mirror on the tiled wall looks every bit as flustered and worried as the teenager feels. These dreams, day dreams and absurd fucking thoughts and feelings would be the death of him. After a few moments he flushes the toilet to give the illusion that he'd told Calum the truth before returning to the sink and turning on the cold water tap. He slashes water over his face and runs his wet hand through his long side fringe to slick it back from his face a little. After checking his reflection one last time Michael repeats 'Calum's just a friend, he's not hot, he's just your buddy...' in his head but those butterflies in his tummy that seem to appear every time Calum's face pops into Michael's head are back and the pale boy kinda considers making an excuse to leave. Maybe he's just been hanging around Calum too much lately, maybe a little time apart would give the older boy a bit more perspective. He nods to himself and unlocks the door before making his way back to Calum's room.

"This boss is the biggest fucking bitch..." Calum whines as Michael traipses over to the desk chair where his red hoody is slung.

"Yeah..." Michael replies quietly as he pulls on the hoody "you should keep the game for a while, see if you have better luck than I've had..."

Calum pauses the game and glances over to his friend "what do you mean, we have time for a few more turns each before dinner..."

Michael zips up his hoody, shaking his head, keeping his gaze directed anywhere but at Calum "I think I'm gonna head home actually..."

"Why?" Calum asks and it's absolutely impossible for the older boy to miss the faint disappointment and hurt in his friend's voice. "My mum thinks you're staying for food, she's probably already set you a place at the table..."

Michael shrugs, keeping his gaze directed at the carpet beneath his sock clad feet. "I just don't feel well, Cal... I'll apologise to your mum on my way out..."

"What do you mean you don't feel well, Mikey?" Calum asked worriedly. Even though Michael was still determinedly not looking at his friend he could picture his concerned expression perfectly and it made his heat ache a little. Calum was the most caring person in the world in Michael's opinion, it was just one of his many attractive qualities. He finally risks a glance over towards the bed but Calum's already on his feet, sweeping across the room towards him "you were fine a minute ago has something happened? Is there something you're not telling me?" His beautiful face is uncharacteristically serious, his dark eyes eyes oozing concern as he reaches out to touch Michael's arm.

Michael forces out a humourless laugh as he avoids his friend's hand by taking a step backwards "you're such a drama queen..." he teases, nudging Calum's shoulder gently to ease the guilt of shrugging off the younger boy's caring gesture "I just think I'm coming down with something and the last thing I wanna do is infect you and your parents so..." he shrugs in lieu of finishing his sentence verbally but he adds a small smile that he hopes will appease Calum enough to stop asking questions that he almost certainly wouldn't like the answers to.

"Are you sure, Mike?" Calum asks "you've been acting a little weird lately... is it something I've done?"

Michael rolls his eyes, Calum was such a worrier, which was yet another endearing quality of his... "of course not, stupid!" Michael replies with a genuine little laugh this time "it's just school stuff and now I think I'm getting this cold or something... stop trying to make everything into a huge scandal!" He keeps his tone light and it causes the corners of Calum's lips to turn up into a tiny smile.

"As long as you're sure..." the younger boy nods, his face still covered in a concerned expression.

Michael smiles a little wider "I'll probably still be at school tomorrow... see you then, yeah?"

Calum returns the smile even though it seems anything but genuine and Michael leaves the room aiming what he hopes is a casual sounding 'later, Cal...' over his shoulder.

He does a fairly good job of acting a little under the weather as he tells Calum's parents that he'll have to miss dinner tonight due to feeling ill and politely declines their offer of a ride home, claiming that a walk would be much better for his nausea than a car ride.

Michael pulls on his battered old black converse before he heads out of the house into the chilly evening. A tight knot of guilt adds itself to the already huge mess of feeling flooding the pale boy's body. It's not like it was Calum's fault that Michael's emotions are all fucked up, yet he was clearly suffering almost as much as Michael was, and all because the older boy's brain and possibly his heart are trying to convince him that he's attracted to his closest friend. He tells himself for what seems like the millionth time that Calum is someone he should see more as a brother than a crush! An exasperated 'ugh' escapes him as he plods miserably down the Hood's driveway and out onto the street beyond the neat line of low shrubs and trees. Why was this happening to him? Why couldn't he just be fucking normal for once?

***

"There you are!" The familiar voice rang out over the otherwise quiet corner of the school yard.

Michael didn't acknowledge his friend, he simply pulled the sleeves of his hideous green blazer a little lower over his hands to protect them from the cold wind whistling over the empty expanse of concrete and fields around him. He kept his gaze directed at the small figures of the footballers on the field ahead of him. He could make Calum out easily amongst the otherwise indistinguishable blurs. The brown boy's slight frame and unruly black curls make it incredibly easy to pick him out of a crowd of taller bulkier 'clones' as Michael called them.

"You just took off after biology, I thought you'd gone straight home..." Luke says almost questioningly as he perches on the bench next to Michael.

The older boy shrugs "I wanted some fresh air..." he replies, still refusing to meet his friend's gaze "and my parents won't be home yet so I just..."

"Wanted to watch the football practice?" Luke asks doubtfully.

The tone of his friend's voice pisses him off, even though Luke had every right to sound disbelieving. Michael hates sport generally and usually avoided everyone who had a passion for it. Well almost everyone... Calum was the only exception to his rule.

Michael shrugs again. He knew how out of character it was for him to be sitting in the cold watching a bunch of guys chase a ball pointlessly around a grassy pitch but the second he's stepped out of his last class his legs had led him here. No doubt, largely out of guilt because he'd avoided Calum all day. In fact this was the closest he'd been to his best friend in almost 24 hours.

"Calum mentioned that you were acting a little weird last night..." Luke ventures cautiously "he said you were meant to stay at his for dinner but you took off early..."

The older boy rolls his eyes "I don't want an interrogation, Luke" 

"I'm not interrogating you, Mike" Luke sighs softly "I'm just worried about you, and so is Calum..."

Michael already feels done with this conversation. He doesn't want to explain his 'weird behaviour' to Luke, or anyone else for that matter. He scoops up his backpack but before he can rise to his feet, Luke's hand closes gently around his wrist "please don't run off, mate..." he pleads quietly "we're supposed to be friends, right?" He asks, his bright blue eyes watering slightly due to the icy breeze.

The older boy sighs and drops his bag again and diverts his gaze back to the football game across the field. "There's nothing to worry about." He shrugs "I just felt under the weather..."

"No offence, Mike..." Luke scoffs "but that's bullshit!"

Michael allows the part of him that feels more pissed off than bashful at being called out take the better of him as he fixes Luke with a disgruntled glare.

"You were playing a new video game with Calum..." Luke smirks "I've known you push through a lot worse than the beginning of a cold to battle aliens or shoot zombies and shit with the only other guy we know who's as nerdy as you are.." the younger friend quirks an eyebrow knowingly "so why did you really bolt last night?"

"You can wipe that stupid look off your face, Luke!" Michael hisses, reaching for his backpack again. "I'm not gonna sit here and make a huge confession to give you and your boyfriend something to gossip about..."

Luke seems to lose his patience at the less than fond tone Michael uses for the word 'boyfriend'. He snatches Michael's backpack and silently commands his slightly older friend to stay exactly where he is before launching into his inevitable lecture "firstly, I have lot more interesting things to with Ashton than 'gossip' about you!" He scowls "secondly if you ever refer to Ashton in that tone of voice again I'll personally cut your fucking tongue out of your mouth! And thirdly your dumb ass just admitted that you do have a confession..."

Michael shook his head "I don't... I just... things are weird lately..." he's taken a little by surprise when a warm arm wraps around his shoulders, drawing him into a half hug. His initial instinct was to push Luke away but he fights it, telling himself he needed his friend right now...

"Is it your parents?" Luke asked gently "are they fighting again?"

Michael shakes his head "it's not my parents" he determinedly keeps his gaze directed at the caramel and green coloured blur that was Calum.

"It's not those dicks from your registration class again is it?" Luke asks, his distaste for the boys in question clear in his prickly voice.

Michael risks a glance sideways, knowing that Luke probably had the skills to drag a confession out of him. "No luke..." he sighs "It's not them either it's..." he cuts himself off, not sure how to complete the sentence he'd started.

"Mikey..." Luke smiles gently "don't run away or snap my head off for suggesting this but... you're kind of acting around Calum, the way I acted around Ashton before I had the guts to admit to myself that I liked him as more than a friend..."

Michael wanted to scoff, he wanted to laugh in Luke's face and tell his friend what a ridiculous insinuation he was making, but he couldn't... that voice in his head was screaming to tell luke the truth, he'd understand, he'd been through it all himself... but Michael knew by the realisation in his friend's sparkling blue eyes that there was no need to confess, the older boy's silence was more than enough confirmation...

***

 _fuck_ he definitely couldn't remember this game being so hard before. Michael had beaten this level in half the time when he's first played it a few months ago. He slammed the buttons of his control pad as though they'd personally offended him.

He blamed his lack of ability to battle animated aliens on the swirl of emotions that seemed to have constantly plagued him since his very one sided conversation with Luke two days ago. Guilt was the stand out feeling and it intensified every time he remembered sprinting across the school yard, ignoring Luke's pleas for him to stay after the older boy freaked out at the realisation that Luke had figured out his secret.

Since that afternoon Michael had made every effort to avoid Luke and Calum, even to extent of skipping the classes he shared with them. He couldn't carry on like this forever but he knew he couldn't face either of them yet.

He was almost finished defeating an alien with a particularly nasty ability to wipe out of his life bar with one attack, when the door to his bedroom flew open without warning. He instinctively turned to face the intruder with a scowl, expecting it to be one of his parents. The angry expression gives way to a surprised one when his eyes meet a pair of unhappy hazel ones.

"Get your coat Clifford..." Ashton demanded quietly in a faux cheerful tone that contrasted with the determined and slightly angry spark in his eyes.

"Hi to you too..." He scoffs "and no I'm busy..."

Ashton rolls his eyes before striding across the messy room to turn off the TV and games consul in one fluid movement. 

"Ashton, you idiot! I was winning..." Michael groans, throwing his control pad down on the bed like a stroppy child.

"Boo fucking hoo..." Ashton hisses "you have new plans now..."

Michael raises a questioning eyebrow.

"You're coming over to mine tonight." Ashton answers the silent question "Luke and Calum are waiting in the car, so hurry up!"

Michael's eyes widen with what feels a lot like fear "no, I can't... I have to..."

"Save the excuses, Michael!" Ashton huffs "I just asked your mum if you were free tonight she said yes and that she was worried you'd fallen out with us because you'd not seen any of us all week! So get your fucking coat and move your arse!"

Michael scowls, still angry about his lost game and bitter that his mother had just let Ashton in without warning. He stomps over to his wardrobe and pulls out his largest most comfortable grey hoody before sliding it on over his old name t-shirt "why do you want me to hang out with you so badly? Don't you and Luke have some making out to do or something?"

Ashton narrows his eyes "we care enough about our friends to arrange time to hang out with them... as big of a pain as you are, Clifford, we're not letting you drift away from us because of whatever internal struggles you have going on right now..."

Despite his anger at his friend's intrusion, Michael can't help but let his anger subside a little at Ashton's words. He couldn't deny that he'd been pretty awful to all three of his friends over the past few days (he didn't date count how many phone calls and texts from them he'd left us answered), so it meant a lot that they didn't just let him go.

As if he could read Michael's thoughts, the older boy's expression softens and he allows a concerned smile to grace his handsome face for a moment "come on, I left the car running..."

Michael returns the gesture with a half hearted twitch of his lips that barely qualifies as smile but Ashton seems satisfied with it, reaching out to wrap an arm around the younger boy's shoulders. He allows his tall sandy hired friend to guide him out of the bedroom but he stops as they reach the stairs, turning to Ashton with a sudden feeling of dread "um, Ash..." he begins cautiously, registering the look of mild concern on the older boy's face. "Did um..." he hesitates nervously "did Luke tell you anything about... about the other day?"

Ashton's eyebrows knit together into straight a worried line "only that you wouldn't tell him what was bothering you..." he replies "why?"

Relief floods Michael's body as he lets out the breath he was holding, if Luke hadn't told Ashton, there was a good chance he hadn't told anyone else either. "No reason, I was just worried that he might have assumed something from what I said..."

Ashton regards Michael suspiciously for a moment before apparently remembering the boys waiting for them in the car. He allows Michael to lead the way down the stairs and out of the house. The younger boy yells a quick goodbye to his parents before stepping out into the early evening. A whole los of feelings swell up in Michael as he makes his way down the sloping driveway towards Ashton's old beat up car that was parked on the road, the most notable of which are nervousness and panic. He thinks for a moment that he's doing a good job of holding it together but just as they step out onto the pavement. Ashton stops Michael in his tracks by placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"You know you can tell any of us what's going on right?" Ashton asks quietly "your our friend, we won't judge... you know that don't you?"

Michael smiles, genuinely this time "thanks, Ash... I just... I think I need to sort it out in my own head first, y'know?"

Ashton nods understandingly before releasing his light hold on his friend and gesturing for him to get in the car.

Michael shoots his older friend a grateful smile before making his way over to the car. He opens the door cautiously, the familiar and almost overwhelming scent of Calum's fruity shower gel hits him the second he ducks his head into the tatty old vehicle. He can't really bring himself to look at his friend fully, despite the distance he'd kept Calum at recently, the feelings that had started out as little fragile shoots were starting to grow into something a stronger and more substantial. He shoots an apologetic smile in the brown boy's general direction before muttering a quiet hi to the car in general. He inadvertently locks eyes with Luke in the rear view mirror, the youngest friend's expression is a strange mix of concern and knowing but he quickly and successfully replaces it with a fond smile. "Hi, Mike..." he replies "I'm glad you could come..."

Michael nods silently, hoping that Luke knows by his sincere expression, how grateful he is that his friend stayed quiet about their conversation on the school yard.

"I'm glad too..." Calum confirms but Michael still can't bring himself to look at his best friend directly. He smiles at the open space between them as Ashton slides into the drivers seat and belts up, placing a caring little kiss to Luke's cheek in the process. 

Michael's too distracted by the feeling of utter fondness between his friends a mild bout of jealousy at openly in love Luke and Ashton are that he doesn't notice Calum shift beside him and the hand that closes gently around his wrist takes him completely by surprise. So much so that he snaps his head around to face Calum and finds himself locking eyes with his best friend for the first time in days. It kind of knocks the breath out of him and he's suddenly overly aware of the burning sensation under his hoody sleeve in the spot where Calum's fingers are still loosely curled around his lower arm. There's a smile on the curly haired boy's face but it looks sad somehow and his eyes, as beautiful as they are, fill with what looks a lot like a mix of concern and fear, two things that Michael never wants Calum to feel, ever... A heavy silence fills the car for a moment, during which Michael feels powerless to look away from the bright brown orbs staring back at him beneath the mess of black curls that he was fighting against the urge to brush to the side.

The engine clatters as Ashton pulls the car away from the curb outside of Michael's house. Luke adds to the noise by flicking on the ancient radio and Michael's glad of it as it seems to lessen the tension a little.

"Why did you miss English class today?" Calum asks quietly, tightening his grip slightly as though the question might scare Michael into jumping out of the moving car.

Michael shrugs, forcing his eyes away from Calum's to stare out of the front window but making no attempt to manoeuvre his wrist out of his friend's grip. "I couldn't face 'of mice and men' today..." he replies.

Calum lets out a small laugh "I was worried that it was because you were avoiding me... Luke said you missed Chem, too..."

Michael felt his face heat up in a slight blush at having been caught out. He didn't want to lie to Calum but he could hardly confirm his suspicions without explaining the reasons behind his actions and he wasn't ready to do that.

"It's alright though..." Luke cut in "I made notes for you and I'll help you with the practical tomorrow..."

"Thanks..." Michael mumbles "I'm sorry I've been distracted the past few days..."

Calum squeezes Michael's wrist reassuringly "that's alright... do you want to talk about whatever's bothering you though? It might help..."

Michael shook his head, plastering a convincing smile on his face before summoning the courage to meet Calum's gaze again "it's nothing..." he lies.

Calum doesn't seem convinced but the older boy is saved the trouble of coming up with further lies by Luke's intentionally bad singing. Michael laughs despite himself and Calum follows suit, for the first time in a while Michael feels somewhat relaxed next to Calum and he smiles to himself, partly because he suddenly realises how much he loves the three people in the car with him and partly because Calum's hand is still wrapped around reassuringly around his wrist.

***

Michael leans back against Ashton's bed, still breathless with laughter, his legs stretched lazily across the fluffy rug he was sitting on. His friends' 'cheer up Michael' regime was working wonders. A smile has been plastered all over Michael's pale face for almost every second since Luke's bad singing in the car.

"Your impression of Mr Wilkes only gets more accurate, I swear..." Calum giggles, aiming his fluffy sock-clad foot at Luke's thigh and almost sending him sideways into Ashton.

"Watch it, Hood!" Ashton warns jokingly "I need my boy in full working order for when you two leave..." he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively as he pulls Luke into a protective hug.

Michael and Calum exchange a faux disgusted glance before bursting out into fresh giggles.

"Come on, Ashy!" Luke demands, throwing his friends a fake offended glare "I need a drink..."

Ashton obeys silently, pushing himself up from the floor and heading towards the door.

For the first time in hours, Michael feels his panic return in full force, he still doesn't feel ready to be alone with Calum, not since Monday night's disaster. "I'll help!" He almost yelps, scrambling to his feet.

"No!" Luke huffs "can't you give us five minutes alone, Clifford?" He doesn't wait for an answer though, he simply pulls Ashton out of the room and closes the door behind him.

Michael flushes a little as he nervously perches on the edge of Ashton's bed, deliberately keeping his gaze directed anywhere but at Calum. He tries desperately to keep his anxiety under wraps as he feels the bed dip beside him.

"Are you scared of being alone with me or something?" Calum asks quietly.

"Don't be stupid!" Michael tries to scoff but he's worried that the way all of his muscles seem to have tensed give away his lie. He almost jumps off the bed when Calum's hand rests innocently on his knee but he somehow manages to control himself and summon the courage to meet his friend's gaze.

"Am i being stupid, Mike?" Calum asks seriously "because something's going on with you and I can't help feeling like it's something to do with me?"

Michael sputters a little eager to tell his friend that he'd done nothing wrong but unable to lie and say that his strange behaviour was nothing to do with Calum at all.

Calum's face falls, a heartbreaking expression of grief taking over his beautiful features.

"You haven't done anything wrong, Cal..." Michael sighs, subconsciously placing his hand over Calum's that was still on his thigh.

Calum's dark eyes move cautiously over the place where Michael's fingers are carefully covering his own before meeting the older boy's gaze again, something like realisation sparkling in his eyes.

Michael pulls his hand away from Calum's quickly, scooting further down the bed to create a gap between them. To his immense surprise Calum simply closes the gap again, his hand finding its way to its previous spot on Michael's knee "don't shut me out, Michael." The brown boy requests simply "we can work this out together..."

The words take Michael by surprise and he's not sure how to process them. The fact that Calum didn't ask what the specific problem was and that glint in his eye made Michael think that maybe his best friend did actually know what was going inside the older boy's head, but if that was the case, why the hell wasn't Calum running for the hills?

***

Ashton giggles as Luke wraps his long arms around his boyfriend's waist, making the simple task of putting the popcorn in the microwave into a quite an ordeal.

"Can't you drop him for like, two seconds?" Michael's asks jokingly as he takes the bowl from his oldest friend and places it in the microwave and setting the timer.

Calum chuckles, leaning casually against the counter next to Michael and their arms brush slightly, sending an all too familiar shiver through the older boy. It's been almost a week since their conversation in Ashton's bedroom and things have been noticeably different between the two best friends, well noticeable to Michael anyway... the biggest change for the older boy was the way that Calum seemed to take any opportunity to be physically close to Michael these days and the two of them had shared a lot more playful nudges, needless touching and overly friendly hugs than usual, all of which confused Michael a little because one could easily assume that this was all flirtatious behaviour.

Once the popcorn was finished and Luke had finally put Ashton down long enough to allow his curly haired boyfriend to take some colas to the living room, Michael purposefully hung back to speak to Luke, under the pretence of helping him find the bag of m&m's that the youngest friend had hidden from his older brothers. He was determined to ask if his friend had noticed the change in the way Calum and Michael interacted lately. He had barely opened his mouth, though, when Luke fixes him with a knowing smirk. "So you and Cal..." he whispers "you seem um... closer, lately..."

Michael knows his cheeks are blushing but he tries to hide them with his overly long fringe and by pretending to scratch his nose. "Um yeah... I wondered if you'd noticed that..."

Luke laughs "Mike... Ashton actually asked me you two were secretly dating yesterday..."

"Why would you ask that?!" Michael sputters.

"Because you make heart eyes at each other every few seconds and you can barely keep your hands off one another!" Luke replies much too loudly for Michael's liking. But the younger friend brandishes the bag of m&ms triumphantly in the pale boy's face before darting off towards the living room.

Michael follows silently, aware that he's still blushing but he hopes that the near darkness in the living room is enough to hide it.

"Finally!" Ashton groans as Michael reaches the sofa "we thought the two of you had gotten lost!"

Luke sticks his tongue out playfully before dropping into the space next to his boyfriend and pulling the blanket over them both.

"Come on Mike..." Calum smiles expectantly, scooting a little closer to Ashton to leave Michael enough space to squeeze onto the crowded sofa.

The pale boy sits down hesitantly but Calum pulls him down by his forearm and covers him with their side of the blanket.

Luke shoots Michael a knowing glance whilst Ashton and Calum are distracted organising the snacks on their laps...

The friends are around an hour into the movie when it happens. When Michael gets what he considers to be the first proper sign that Calum might be feeling the same way he is. The slightly older boy is so completely engrossed in the super hero's quest to stop the world from ending that he barely notices Calum's subtle movements until the younger boy's hand curls nervously into his own, entwining their fingers together as though it's the most natural thing in the whole world. Michael gets the feeling that Calum is being purposefully discrete, so he settles for a shy glance sideways and a firm squeeze to the hand beneath his to show the that the brave gesture is more than welcome. It's not really enough though and Michael knows that. He pretty much forgets about the movie although his eyes never leave the large TV, trying instead to think of a way to repay Calum's meaningful but very subtle display of affection. Once he decides on a course of action it takes Michael a further ten minutes to pluck up the courage to actually do it. Just before the huge final battle of the movie, Michael takes a deep calming breath and lowers his head to Calum's shoulder, ensuring their bodies are as close as possible as he rests his cheek on his best friend's hoody-clad shoulder. He feels Calum tense up for a moment but he soon sinks into the contact and Michael is pretty sure that he doesn't imagine the light brush of lips on his forehead before Calum rests his head against Michael's.

***

"So you're staying at Calum's tonight, huh?" Luke asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

They're making their way home after a long, boring Friday of lessons but despite his weariness, Michael's in high spirits and he soon learns that Luke is to given his excitable chattering.

Michael rolls his eyes and nudges his friend playfully "it's just a sleepover, idiot..." he smirks. "You and Ash were invited..."

Luke laughs, throwing his head back dramatically "Calum only invited us because he knew we already had plans, he wants you all to himself..." he makes kissing noises and hugs himself in what was clearly meant to be a lustful way.

"If that's how you make out, I feel so sorry for Ashton..." Michael scoffs, pushing Luke's arm playfully "and besides, Calum is not planning to kiss me tonight! I'm still not convinced he even sees me that way..."

Luke stops in his tracks fixing Michael with his best 'really?' Expression. "He was all over you the other day at my house, I'm surprised he hasn't tried to kiss you already..."

Michael blushed even though he couldn't quite believe what Luke was saying because part of him was still so sure that Calum could never like him like that... yet he knew if this was happening to someone else he'd be telling them to get their shit together!

"You don't have to wait for him to make the first move though..." Luke shrugs as he starts walking again "you could do it..."

Michael scoffs "If Calum shot me down it'd be the end of my life, I swear I could never recover from that, Luke..."

"He won't shoot you down!" Luke sighs exasperatedly "he was holding your fucking hand under the blanket on movie night!"

"Yeah, but..." Michael began before Luke's words really sank in "wait! how do you know that?!"

Luke rolls his eyes "I'm Calum's best friend too you know... we still talk..."

***

By the time his dad drops him off at Calum's house later that night, Michael's stomach is churning with nerves, Luke's taunts about kissing Calum still fresh in his mind. 

"Hi Michael" Calum's Dad smiles welcomingly as he opens the door "Calum's in his room, go on up..."

Michael returns the friendly hello before waving to his father and kicks off his shoes before padding up the stairs a lot slower than he usually would. His heart is pounding hard in his chest as he opens Calum's door, preparing himself for that feeling of complete infatuation when his friend inevitably greets him with that beautiful smile.

"Hey Mike! Just in time to help me beat this bitch..." Calum grins, keeping his eyes on the tv screen as he pushes the buttons of his control pad.

Michael swallows dryly, taking in Calum's body stretched out casually on his bed, much the same as it was a couple of weeks ago when Michael panicked about his developing feelings and fled. He drops his sleeping bag and backpack to the floor and notes that, strangely, he doesn't feel panicked or particularly worried, just a little nervous. He perches on the edge of Calum's bed and picks up the spare control pad that had been left there for him. He grins at his friend's character's sorry state on screen as he enters the game "looks like you need my help, you're completely hopeless..."

Calum makes a scandalised face "you think very highly of yourself, Clifford..." he tuts.

"I'm just good at this game!" Michael counters, supporting his words by having his character on screen perform a particularly skilful attack on the villain.

"At least that's one game you're good at..." Calum smirks and Michael can't quite shake the feeling that his friend is insulating that the 'game' Michael's not particularly good at isn't one that can be played on the Xbox...

***

After a couple of hours of gaming, they'd taken a quick pizza break before launching into a movie marathon, during which Michael had somehow pushed through his nerves enough to snuggle into Calum, resting his head on Calum's chest as the younger boy wrapped an arm around Michael's shoulders.

When the last movie had ended the two of them had snuggled beneath the duvet of Calum's bed and drifted into comfortable conversation, neither of them bothering to switch a lamp on. This was a decision that Michael kind of regretted right now because the soft moonlight falling over Calum's face as he laughed at his friend's lame joke made him look more beautiful than ever and Michael was having a hard time controlling the butterflies in his tummy. He almost subconsciously shuffles closer to the brown boy, resting a tentative hand on Calum's waist as he does so.

The younger boy's grin softens into the fondest smile Michael thinks he's ever seen. "Cal..." he whispers "is this weird?" He asks, praying that he hasn't made the wrong decision in finally acknowledging that something has changed between them.

Calum shakes his head as he gently cups Michael's face in one of his large hands and closes the small gap between them across their pillows, brushing his lips against Michael's as though he's waiting for resistance or permission to do more. The older boy answers by tightening his grip on Calum's waist, urging him to move closer.

Calum gets the hint and presses his lips more firmly against Michael's, tangling his fingers in the light brown hair on the back of the pale boy's head.

Michael fights the urge to move his hand beneath Calum's shirt, the last thing he wants to do is move too quickly or have to explain away an awkward boner during their first actual kiss.

After a long moment Calum pulls back just enough to look Michael in the eye and smiles cheekily "I knew I'd have to make the first move."

Michael blushes "well technically I..."

Calum cuts his friend off with another kiss which he giggles into and it's honestly the best feeling Michael can ever remember experiencing. "You're gonna have to stop arguing with me if you want more of this, y'know" he adds as he adjusts his position so that he's lying on his back, gently moving his arm beneath Michael's head and urging him into a cuddle.

Michael shuffles closer, using Calum's chest as a pillow, revelling in the feeling of the soft fabric of his friend's (if he could still call him just a friend - that was something to think about tomorrow though) t-shirt beneath his cheek. "So this isn't just like... a one time... experiment, type thing?" He asks nervously.

Calum giggles again and it jostles Michael's head but he doesn't care because the words that follow are quite possibly the best he's ever heard in his life "You'd never be an experiment, Mikey!" He whispers, rubbing the older boy's shoulder gently over his faded pyjama top "and I plan on making it far from a one time thing!"

Michael squeezes Calum gently, hoping that the caring gesture makes up for his lack of words. The brief but amazing little kiss that the younger boy presses into Michael's fluffy hair is more than enough to convince him that it was a suitable substitute for words.

"You wanna sleep here with me?" Calum asks quietly, the faintest hint of doubt in his voice.

Michael snuggles closer into Calum's chest and replies with a simple but very fond "yeah... you're way comfier than my sleeping bag..."

"What a compliment..." Calum replies but the smile is evident in his voice "get some sleep, idiot... I need you on top form to help me finish that level on your new game tomorrow..."

"Charming..." He smiles into the darkness before wishing Calum goodnight and trying not to focus on the uncertainties nagging away at the back of his mind about how this could all go wrong, and allowing himself to enjoy the new exciting feelings about the person that he probably cared most about in the whole world, because if this was the beginning of a new chapter in his relationship with Calum then it deserved to be savoured.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think of this? I have plans to make it into a series of oneshots!


End file.
